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Weirdo Wednesday – October 5, 2011

October 5, 2011

Weirdo WednesdayTimes are hard out there for a toe-sucker.

Police in Conway, Arkansas have finally nabbed notorious Michael Wyatt, a.k.a. “Toe Sucker. In his home state Wyatt has achieved nearly cult status on the heels (no pun intended) of his foot related crimes.

(If this guy doesn’t qualify as a bona-fide weirdo, I don’t know who does.)

Apparently Conway police have been crossing toes with Mr. Wyatt for a couple of decades.

His digital escapades began as early as 1990 when Wyatt impersonated a podiatrist (nice cover for a foot fetishist) so he could fondle and suck on a woman’s foot in a Conway department store. (Clean up — aisle nine!) He was fined, placed on probation, and ordered to undergo intensive therapy. (It didn’t take.)

He served a year in prison for threatening to cut the toes off a convenience store clerk and watching her bleed to death. (That’s one extreme game of this-little-piggy.)

It is not believed this recent flare-up of his foot-fetish struggles has anything to do with his new career — tow truck driver. (I wonder if he will get to keep his Dr. Scholl’s pads in the pokey?)

If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do astronauts get?
Missile toe!

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2 Comments
  1. October 5, 2011 7:07 am

    *gag* I don’t know what’s more disgusting, sucking on a stranger’s toes or this guy just in general.

  2. TRISH permalink
    October 5, 2011 12:01 pm

    Natural 4/PLAY IN ARKANSAS!!

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